Public Service Announcements of Justice
by SilverScyther
Summary: To the outside world the Watchtower seems like a perfectly maintained, but imposing base for heroes. They don't see the wild reality of a base run by heroes with psychotic personalities, a major lack of social understanding, poorly restrained lust, dependency issues, and sadistic tendencies. League-wide PSAs are posted informing everyone of the issues that must be addressed.
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own anything related to the justice league and these drabbles will just be wild things I randomly think up or ideas people suggest. They will be related with and reference each other, but any form of concrete story line will be borderline nonexistent and characters will be flying out of character like it's a job.**

 **Edited: 09/14/2016**

Having a group of superheroes with eclectic and conflicting personalities spending large amounts of time in a single place often led to issues, especially considering the members came from very different backgrounds and in some cases different planets. The founding members elected a small group of people to keep track of the league's personal and social issues. Every few days this council releases announcements to tell league members of the problems they created in an attempt to keep things under control.

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 **General Message** \- We will be opening a suggestion box where you can anonymously write any complaints or suggestions you have and they will be addressed. If you commit any acts that aren't suitable for the environment of the Watchtower they will be addressed. Hopefully this will help everyone think carefully about their actions.

 **Batman** \- Stop disappearing when you get tired of talking to someone, everyone is aware that you 'are the night' and can fade into the shadows, but it's still rude. Superman's attempts to build a friendship may be getting on your nerves, but you could at least take the time to shoot him down to his face and not just leave. It keeps his hopes up that eventually you'll say yes and every time you leave him alone everyone else has to deal with his bad mood.

 **Superman** \- Your attempts to start a 'bromance' with Batman have been failing dramatically and people are starting to worry he'll take his annoyance out on them, which we can confirm is very likely. Please keep your boy scout charm to yourself, he clearly isn't interested and your pouting afterwards isn't appreciated. Forcing the other league members to awkwardly comfort you is uncomfortable for everyone especially when you complain that Batman could do a better job patting your back.

 **Martian Manhunter** \- The league is happy you're interested in learning more about the species of your fellow members, but everyone requests you are careful about the questions you ask. Questions about the reproductive system are not appreciated, nor are the attempts to secretly follow members as they enter the shower. Watching their memories to learn more is also considered a breach of privacy.

 **Wonder Woman** \- Like Martian Manhunter your interest in the world of your fellow league members is appreciated, but once again some of your inquiries are less than appreciated. Be careful when you ask the definition about certain slang, it's one of the reasons Batman likes to disappear. Asking what a 'Thot' is and talking about how 'Ratchet' the league members are, isn't particularly endearing.

 **Green Lantern:** Stop passing out fake rings because you want it to be a fashion trends, Flash got really excited when he thought he was getting a green lantern ring, needless to say he was very disappointed. Also don't paint them just because Batman requested it come in black.

 **Aquaman** \- Everyday is not 'bring your fish to work' day, stop dragging a fish tank with a dolphin in it to league meetings. Nobody enjoys it and even without understanding the language of sea creatures everyone can tell the dolphin isn't a fan either. Plus aren't Dolphin's mammals anyway?

 **Flash** \- You can't just make a 'cool table' in the cafeteria and impose the requirement that they must meet a speed minimum, be hot, or be Batman to sit at the table. Nobody is jealous because they don't care, but it's still annoying especially when you go around telling people about it and then pointing out they aren't allowed to sit with you. We're not sure if this has to do with you watching Mean Girls with Nightwing, but just sit with everyone else.


	2. Chapter 2

**Edited: 09/14/2016**

 **General Announcement** \- Whoever is writing "Justice League 4 ever" in graffiti on the walls of the Watchtower, please stop. Your dedication to the team is admirable, your art skills are not.

 **Green Lantern** \- Stop making constructs that look like animals and sending them running through the watchtower, the staff still gets nervous around powers. Having a green panther stalking through the halls is making them jumpy.

 **Flash** \- We understand you eat more than most people, but don't bite food out of people's hands when they are trying to eat. They aren't offering it to you, Martian Manhunter does not want to share his Oreos. Many people are actually complaining that you've bitten them, we're hoping by accident.

 **Hawkwoman:** Yes, you have wonderful wings and yes everyone is positive they are soft, but you can't force people to feel them. The moaning that accompanies the petting also turns people off touching them. Green Lantern seems to enjoy it, but the rest of the league is asking that you keep your wings to yourself.

 **Wonder Woman** \- Don't try to learn about human culture through trashy television. Yelling, "You're not the father," at someone who seems upset doesn't generally work in cheering them up especially when it's Hawkwoman who is indeed a woman. Again we have to ask that you stop trying to use slang you randomly find, you don't need to say #blessed with everything. It's pronounced 'hashtag blessed' not 'pound blessed', we have a member of the medical staff whose name is Blessed she has taken to hiding whenever she sees you.

 **Black Canary-** Stop inviting Huntress and Catwoman to practices for your girl group 'Birds of Prey', nobody wants them here. However members of the league would like to tell you that the harmonies are spot on.

 **Catwoman-** Nobody cares if Black Canary invites you to the watchtower, you still aren't allowed in. Hitting on Batman and making lewd comments is upsetting league members even if Batman enjoys it. Flash feels left out, Wonder Woman is getting ornery, and Superman is visibly upset in his case we aren't completely sure why.

 **Huntress-** Stop getting into arguments with Catwoman about Batman, the Watchtower isn't the right place for your catfights. We apologize for that pun, but you guys had it coming.

 **Batman-** Encouraging Catwoman when she hits on you is making team members uncomfortable and your new habit of walking away with a flourish of your cape in the middle of conversations isn't much better than disappearing. Although it is admittedly quite dramatic and has impressed a few league members, the majority are annoyed when you give up on caring about what they want to talk about.

 **I will most likely be taking pieces from different types of media i.e. comics and different cartoons for the characters,** **I'm using the version of Huntress from Batman: The Brave and the Bold. Huntress, Catwoman, and Black Canary do sing together (I stumbled across a youtube video). She has a crush on Batman so I'm willing to assume she isn't related to the Dark Knight in that continuity which means they aren't related here either.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Updated 09/14/2016**

 **General Message:** Monitor duty is completely necessary and anyone that attempts to get out of it will be forced to deal with Batman, who in response has only said, "Great I need a new victim."

 **Aquaman:** You should also be aware that although goldfish are roughly in the shape of fish they are merely crackers. There was no need to tackle the Flash who clearly had no idea of the discomfort he was causing you, for future reference oyster crackers are also just crackers. You probably should have figured this out when the "fish" melted in water, but we'll chalk it up to trauma.

 **Flash:** Slow down when you talk. The League understand that when you get excited you often speed up, but almost nobody is able to understand you and most of the team doesn't bother to try anymore. People don't ignore you because they don't respect you, they just don't realize what you're trying to say. Batman would like to make it clear that he is ignoring you on purpose because he ignores most people and that he can understand you perfectly. This might be part of the reason why Aquaman didn't listen to your explanation about snack foods.

 **Batman:** Please stop scaring people by convincing them you can read minds by staring at them, nodding to yourself, and saying lowly, "I see" or "That makes sense". People are terrified of you enough without you encouraging them to believe the rumors that form about secret powers. This includes pretending to see the future by setting up traps and telling people to watch out because you foresee danger in their future.

 **Superman:** It's clear that Batman does not want to adopt a 'BatCat' and become a father with you. A SuperPuppy is most likely out of the question as well, he already is a father.

 **Hawkwoman** and **Wonder** **Woman:** Stop using dirty language that you found online for fun in random situations. Calling everything a '#shit show' isn't necessary and nobody else is laughing.

 **Martian Manhunter:** Be more aware of how close you are to other league members. You tend to stand or float too close to them and when they try to step back you walk with them keeping yourself within their personal space. Certain members are planning countermeasures that may be less than pleasant, for your sake take two steps back.

 **Green Arrow:** Stop making puns about your arrows, many team members are starting to plan ways to kill you and carve bad puns on your tomb.

 **Black Canary:** Please stop organizing the hit squads you want to send after Green Arrow who keeps making puns involving the arrows.

 **Captain Marvel:** It's completely fine that you don't quite understand Green Arrow's jokes, just ignore him. You don't need to ask Batman for help despite the fact that he oddly agreed to help you.

 **General Message:** Green Arrow was actually caught by one of Black Canary's hit squads and is currently in the Medical Center, it seems nobody has bothered to visit him so will let you know he's fine despite the best attempts of his attackers.


	4. Chapter 4

**Watchtower Announcement** \- The award for scariest superhero has gone to the reigning champion Batman, congratulations or sorry depending on your view. Batman really clinched it when he offered to teach a class on torture methods using only a paperclip, nobody attended. In related news Batman is offering a course, 'stapling for sadists' he looks forward to your participation.

 **Aquaman** \- Keeping a few fish as pets is completely fine the league has provided you a gigantic aquarium for yourself and any sea creatures you have, however leaving them throughout the Watchtower is not acceptable. Sinks, baths, drinks, and random bowls left lying around are not homes for your 'subjects'. Wonder woman has promised to start killing your fish if she find another while she is in her bathroom. Please keep track of the sea creatures taking up residence in the watchtower or they will die.

 **Flash** \- Stop vibrating through the floors and falling into places you don't belong. It doesn't matter if it's an accident, if you fall into Wonder woman's room again she will force you to eat Aquaman's fish, alive.

 **Green Lantern** \- Just because you can make phallic constructs to use as bludgeoning weapons doesn't mean you should. They don't exactly inspire fear, they just bring about more uncomfortable questions from certain league members and some villains.

 **Batman** \- Sneaking behind people and whispering in their ears is disturbing and when heroes are surprised they are prone to accidentally using their powers. This is a reference to Flash falling through floors. It's on purpose don't pretend that's just how you approach people.

 **Martian Manhunter** \- There is no need to stuff yourself full of food and 'borrow' chemicals from the lab to experience throwing up. It was a learning experience that nobody gained anything from, in related news the Flash is also rather upset that we're out of Oreos.

 **Hawk Woman-** Stop dragging your mace along the floor menacingly, some heroes have super hearing and the noise is more than slightly annoying. Scaring people into petting your wings is in poor taste, although Green Lantern seems to enjoy it.

 **Superman** \- We are sorry you heard a child call you a dork, but you need to get over it. Letting children's opinions affect you so much kind of plays into their assessment of your 'dorkiness'.

 **Cyborg** \- Everyone is very sorry that right after you arrived back from your long mission you were forced to witness Martian Manhunter's 'vomit experiment', we are even more sorry that you slipped on it. He will come to your room to issue an apology and bring a gift, we don't know what, hopefully not food.

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 **Please review and let me know if you think I'm going in the right direction or if you have any general ideas or characters, you might want me to explore.**


	5. Chapter 5

**League wide message:** stop the fighting, seriously we've lost track of the injured and the watchtower is already damaged. We're just going to list damages by members and supposed reason behind it because nobody is going to be able to read this anytime soon so there's no point trying to correct behavior. It's incredible that nobody is actually dead yet, but of course that could change.

 **Batman** : Although you haven't directly gotten into any fights we're sure you caused most of this. Many of the heroes are too strung up to pay attention to the fact that you more or less organized this, as Wonder Woman would say 'Shit show'. Current Location: No idea, probably watching everything and laughing.

 **Flash** : Challenged to race by Batman down a crowded hallway filled with members many who were injured and some of the few who weren't injured until the Flash smashed into them. Batman took him away when it was apparent he could do no further damage, much to Batman's dismay. Current location: Med Bay brought in by Batman.

 **Hawk** **Woman** : Complimented on her wings and convinced to spread them in the middle of the mess hall by Batman, it led to spilled food on multiple heroes who demanded apologies, to which Hawk Woman replied, "I'm beautiful screw you." She then swung her mace getting more food on people, which led to a food fight coupled with powers. Current location:flying around somewhere throwing apples at anyone who isn't already unconscious.

 **Aqua Man** : Told by Batman some of the heroes were planning on going on a fish murdering rampage and that an all fish meal was being served in the mess hall. He proceeded to enter the already explosive halls and release what he refereed to as his aqua warriors with the battle cry, "Let loose the fish of war." On the plus it cleared some of the blood away, negatives many people had to be resuscitated after drowning and there are fish out of water everywhere. Current location: Hiding out in the hot tub.

 **Martian Manhunter** : Convinced by Batman to train by reading the minds of league members and then repeat them aloud to everyone in the vicinity. He chose to speak the worst thoughts specifically ones that were derogatory, offensive, or very secret. It sparked arguments between league members and especially with him. Current Location: Believed to be wandering around observing while invisible.

 **Superman** : Luckily didn't really get into any fights, he was conned into being Batman's bodyguard in case of danger. Batman disappeared almost immediatly and Superman is searching for him blaming himself for losing him. He's uninjured because he's the man of steel we can't say the same for anyone who gets in his way. Location: Searching for Batman.

 **Green Lantern** : Showed up saw what was happening merely said, "Nope," and left. We applaud Green Lantern and thank everything that Batman couldn't get to him. Witnesses claim they heard a voice say, "Almost got him", but those witnesses are no longer available so the league may never know. Location: A better place.

 **Wonder Woman:** Thankfully she was off planet, but Batman has contacted her and 'accidentally' revealed what was happening and offhandedly mention he was being attacked by Green Arrow who had largely managed to avoid the conflict. Current Location: Danger Incoming!

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This chapter was really easy to write for me, but I keep going back and forth on whether I like it or not. Some parts I find funny and I love making Batman a sociopath, but I feel like it might have gotten long and I changed the way it's written (only for this chapter). Let me know what you thought and if you enjoyed it.

I haven't applied the ideas given to me in the reviews yet, but I already have ideas so they'll be future chapters. If anyone has something they'd like to see let me know. I'm going to form a very loose connection that will come together eventually, but the story is very pliable.


	6. Chapter 6

**General Messege** : Stop thanking Batman for being the 'Savior' of the League after the fight. It is true that he was the one that brought most of you to the med bay, scared people still fighting into submission, and organized the clean up. However he was the reason you ended up in the med bay, he scares everyone anyway, and he only organized the clean up so he wouldn't have to physically help. Now onto the new problems you've created now that you're more or less healthy.

 **Batman** : We understand you are upset that someone has downloaded and is playing video games onto the monitor, but the look on your face as you prowl the halls looking for the culprit has several heroes worried you might actually murder someone and stop growling.

 **Captain** **Marvel** : Several people overheard Batman promise to come to your 'parent teacher conference', we aren't sure if that's new Batman slang about some insidious thing he's planning, but please be careful and don't look so happy about it.

 **Flash** : After the recent event of racing Batman and getting injured in what we're referring to as the 'Watchtower Brawl' everyone is surprised that you've started running through the watchtower and crashing into people more often than usual. We're starting to wonder if you're doing it for attention, but the reasoning doesn't matter. Just stop, you may heal quickly, but the staff most certainly does not.

 **Red** **Arrow** : Many people are pleased you've started visiting the tower more often. However we'd ask that you don't limit yourself to trying to 'ruffle hawk woman's feathers' after hastily greeting the people you actually like and leaving after cursing out Green Arrow.

 **Hawkwoman** : We know you slept with Red Arrow and that's fine, but you are no longer allowed near any teens or children. This is mainly because you told Red Arrow when he was a teenager he'd be hot when he got older and you'd totally screw him. Everyone thought that was a creepy joke, but seeing as this eventually came true we are worried about what you might promise to other young people. Batman in particular requests you stay away from his 'birds' and forbids you from talking to Night Wing unless it's about official business.

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Red Arrow and Hawkwoman's messages are highly based on Patattacks's review specifically the fact that Hawkwoman and Red Arrow Slept together, which I did not know.

Clara200 mentioned Flash running through the halls and the idea of someone playing on the monitors which I figured Batman would not enjoy.

Let me know how I did with the ideas you offered up if I butchered them or if they came out like you were thinking. Everyone thank you for reading and review if you have any input, constructive criticism, ideas, or just want to let me know what you think.


	7. Chapter 7

**General Message:** There is a major function where the Justice League main members were going to having to do a meet and greet with children. It's going to be filmed and shown worldwide, it's for a worldwide 'protect our children' type of thing. Please be on your best behavior and Hawkwoman we are very unhappy to announce that you have to come and can't just be left behind so no flirting with the kids.

 **Aquaman** : Your attempts to force children to adopt fish was not a hit. Kids don't want brown sea slugs and how exactly did you expect them to take care of squids? Next time bring something smaller and cuter if they ever let you come back after the debacle of you trying to teach babies how to swim with sharks.

 **Wonder Woman** : You can't make a girls only section and teach them about a society where men don't exist. We saw some arguments between boys and the girls you 'mentored' by telling them they can use deadly force whenever they deem it necessary.

 **Hawkwoman** : Just because we told you not to force League Members to pet your wings doesn't mean you can force people not in the league to pet them. "You didn't tell me specifically," is not a good excuse.

 **Superman** : Things were going very well and we're glad that you tried to impart good morals on the children, but you don't need to be so hurt when a teenager jokes about you to his friend. Batman had to come over just to stop you from getting upset and possibly breaking something. We noticed he had a quick talk with the teen who looked very pale when Batman walked away.

 **Green Lantern** : Your puppet show was going well until you lost focus for just a moment and the puppets went wild destroying the puppet stage and scaring the toddlers and babies watching.

 **Flash** : There aren't really any major complaints, you actually managed to keep from doing anything completely overboard and got along with the kids. Batman said it was because your intellect was on their level, but he grudgingly admitted you were reliable in this event. However we would like to point out that you got overexcited from the compliment and vibrated through a wall.

 **Batman** : Everyone was shocked with how well you did dealing with the kids, you were actually the hero that was most visited and rated highest. The kids loved you, but offering to teach them how to use your weapons to destroy their enemies was probably unnecessary. The adults in particular enjoyed the knife throwing show when you strapped Aquaman to the target board, mainly because he endangered their children. They were slightly disappointed that you didn't 'accidentally' injure him, but his fear was enough to sate their appetite for revenge. The soft smile you sent the children before leaving was tugging at the heartstrings of your fellow league members who for just a moment thought you were in a good mood. That quickly disappeared when you fixed your glare on them for almost ruining the day, we won't repeat the threats you gave most of them, they're too disturbing.

 **League Message** : The League's participation in World wide children's day celebration was a barely a success. Thankfully Batman spoke the language of almost every ambassador, child, and parent there and was able to convince them the league's failures were just jokes and nobody was in any true danger. They accepted his excuse and said Batman, Flash, and Superman were welcome to come back next year as long as the rest of the league stayed as far away as possible.

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A/N

I'm going to be doing a bit of updating on the previous chapters, but nothing so significant that you need to read them again to keep up. Still if you check back later you might notice a difference. Thank you as always for reading and please let me know what you think and what you'd like in the story.


	8. Chapter 8

**League wide message** : If you receive an invitation to a party being hosted by Batman in a secret bunker, it's not a prank. He's actually hosting a party, though nobody is quite sure why.

 **Nightwing** : Everyone is glad to see you again and we apologize for Hawkwoman trying to get 'close' to you, Batman is planning to have a long chat with her about it. However the smirk you wore when she drunkenly tried to wrap her wings around you made it seem like you weren't too bothered, in fact it was very reminiscent of Batman's. Also thanks for helping with Flash when he gets drunk he can get a bit unstable.

 **Hawkwoman** : You have been walking on very thin ice, watch your back the Bat is coming for you and when you mess with his robins, current or former, he can be merciless.

 **Flash** : Alcohol is supposed to slow you down, not speed you up. Everyone did enjoy the high speed dancing, but your eventual vibration through the snack table sending chips everywhere wasn't nearly as well received. Luckily Nightwing took you home before you could get too out of control, you should thank him properly when you're sober and apologize to Batman for the damage.

 **Superman** : Apparently drinking makes you needy and sad because you spent most of the latter half of party complaining that Batman doesn't appreciate you or pay attention to you. Some heroes, Nightwing in particular might understand, but it really isn't party conversation.

 **Wonder woman:** Not drinking often isn't a good enough excuse to pin Batman to a wall and attempt to ravish him until you passed out. His smirk and lack of resistance doesn't make it much better. We aren't' sure if throwing you in a corner wrapped in a blanket was supposed to be nice or if he just wanted to get rid of you.

 **Martian** **Manhunter** : Apparently you and alcohol don't mix because you spent the party going invisible and crashing into people. You also managed to throw up all the alcohol directly on Cyborg who was just trying to enjoy himself. We suggest another gift basket, don't include wine, maybe try some cleaning products.

 **Cyborg** : We're sorry about Martian Manhunter's inability to hold his alcohol in more than one sense, nobody knew that would happen. Except maybe Batman who didn't flinch, but that's just his nature.

 **Batman** : Everyone was happy about the party until they started realizing some disturbing problems. The "pinatas" you made were actually just unconscious people. Some members were more receptive than others to beating roofied villains, but you could have warned them. Also leaving piles of passed out league members in the various corners of the room wasn't very kind, even if you did separate them by gender and throw blankets over them. Plus we're fairly sure you spiked the drinks, normal alcohol shouldn't have gotten non-humans so drunk, but even Superman and Wonder woman were drunk out of their minds.

 **Aquaman** : You shouldn't be surprised that Batman didn't invite you to the party., he's still mad about the 'babies swimming with sharks' incident. Instead you got an envelope that sprayed you with batman brand fish-repellent. He originally threatened to gut you like a fish and feed you to your friends, so you should feel lucky. Deal with the loneliness of not going to the party and not being able to complain to your fish friends who are avoiding you.

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 **A/N**

Thank you for reading, please review to let me know if you enjoyed it and if you have anything you'd like me to write about.

Special thanks to Lenelle for the review I based my idea on, sorry I messed around with it, but review or send me a message letting me know how I did with your original request.


	9. Chapter 9

**General Announcement** : We aren't sure who posted the flyers with new rules on them, but it's safe to say you can ignore most of them.

 **Superman** : It is not a requirement that all superheroes have gadgets, you don't need a supermobile, you can literally fly around the world. Do you even have a license? Also Batman won't help you make your useless car his quote was, "The batmobile is my thing."

 **Wonder Woman** : Making your outfit more revealing is nearly impossible unless you just want to wear a bathing suit. It will most likely distract the enemies, but it won't leave room for the confetti that you're convinced you need to bring to every battle so you can celebrate once you win. Unless you literally plan on pulling confetti out of your crotch you'll have to leave things as they are and let someone sew in a pocket or two.

 **Flash** : If you chose to follow the 'rule' that you need to communicate purely by sign language, you should probably learn sign language. Just doing dance moves and gesturing like a wild man isn't easy to understand, more than one person has been put off by what they assume you're saying.

 **Batman** : It is not time for everyone to have very invasive medical testing, in fact it's never time to do some of the things you brought up. Despite what you saw on the notice board, nobody has alien worms inside them, you don't need to check for them.

 **Green Lantern** : There is no need to give everyone code names and you certainly don't have to give them such stupid ones. The 'Floppy Fish' isn't exactly a promising start to your naming career.

 **Floppy Fish** : We know you're King of the Ocean, but nobody is referring to you as 'Your Majesty' it's a bit late to ask that. However, we will put an end to your current name.

 **Martian Manhunter** : Nobody banned the color green stop painting yourself blue and throwing glares at Green Lantern and Green Arrow for breaking the rules by simply existing.

 **General Announcement:** If you're all going to follow stupid rules then can you at least follow the same ones? At least then everyone will be insane in the same way and there will be some common ground. Flash we're commissioning you to remove the flyers, just nod if you agree because your 'yes dance' knocked out HawkWoman last time you tried it.

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A/N

I'm not sure if I'll be posting next week, but I know I will the week after. I have a question I want to ask: If one of the league members wanted to create a show what would it be? (Example: Aquaman- Fun with Fish). You'll see why I asked later and if I do use your suggestions I will credit you.

Thanks for reading let me know what you thought and what you'd like to see.


	10. Chapter 10

Batman nobody is quite sure how you managed to secure a channel on television, but we are actually impressed at the results, though we hesitate to ask the means of how you achieved them. However the fact that you've been secretly filming people and recording conversations is more than slightly disturbing, we need to ask that you keep your, "research" private. There will of course be content reviews because everyone is aware of your idea of 'acceptable' and how that actually measures up against the general public, who we don't want to permanently scar.

 **Proposed shows: Under consideration or accepted**

 _World news_ : Newscasters-Batman and Wonder woman, Weatherman-Superman, Head Reporter-Flash (This could actually be interesting plus Flash and Superman will be able to arrive on scene anywhere around the world quickly enough to cover things)

 _League music:_ Multiple members, host Black Canary: Accepted (We want to see who in the league has any musical talent or if this becomes a giant joke)

 _Battle Ring:_ Undecided (Setting up a fighting ring for superheroes seems like a terribly bad idea, but it'd make for great television)

 _The Watch_ : Rotating group of league members: Accepted (We're on the fence, but we'll see how it goes as long as you don't start fighting)

 _Batman's Life Advice_ : Hesitantly accepted on probationary terms (Everyone wants to know what kind of advice you might give, but we're also afraid, very afraid)

 _League Fashion Law Enforcement_ : Accepted purely out of curiosity (We're assuming it's commentary on outfits in the Superhero and Supervillian communities)

 _Jail Time Blues_ **:** Under consideration (Interviewing captured criminals could be a deterrent to crime when they see what it leads to, but the stories they tell might be an attempt to paint them in a good light and mud-sling at league members. If chosen some heavy editing will likely be in effect)

 _Super Sitcom_ (Rename it and come up with a plot beyond cheesy superhero jokes and it'll be reconsidered)

 _Magical Mondays:_ Magician- Zatanna assistant- Dr. Fate (Please nothing violent, last time you did a magic show you gave people nightmares)

 _Holy Trinity Sketch_ \- Main actors- Wonder woman, Superman, and Batman Supporting roles: various league members. (We know you three think of yourself as the top three, but don't be too egotistical.)

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 **Denied shows for various reasons** :

 _Batman Nose Breaking for Dummies_ (The general public does not need to be introduced to your special brand of violence)

 _Fun with Fish_ (We get it Aquaman, you like fish but this isn't a nature channel and nobody else is interested)

 _Martian Manhuner Cooking show_ (Get over your fear of fire and maybe we'll think about it. You turned on all four burners then left them on while you fled the scene. We had to call in our on site firefighter Aquaman to deal with the blaze.)

 _Girl talk:_ Wonder Woman and Hawkwoman (You can't relate to the general public with your lack of tact or understanding of normal culture)

 _Keeping Up with the League_ (Please tell us this was a joke, beyond the fact that it's stupid we can't really have a reality show where the League's secrets can easily be revealed)

 _Hot Flashes: (_ You can't just do a show where you model various clothes over your suit, the clothes will probably fall apart if you move to fast and the name is awful)

 _Go Green_ : Green Lantern and Green Arrow (Is the show just about the color green? Nobody really knows what you're doing.)

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 **A/N**

Okay, so chapter ten is done, this is kind of a milestone for the story. I'm thinking of making a spin off of the results of the various shows the League is producing, if I do it here it will be too condensed or too many chapters would be focused on what happened and this story would get off track (not that it really has a track). To be honest I don't know if this chapter came out as funny as I would have liked, but it does provide opportunity for a story I think could go really well.

Question: What secret talent do you think the superheroes have?

Let me know what you think in a review. If you have any opinions, questions, suggestions, or ideas let me know and I'll try to incorporate them.

The sketch comedy between Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman was heavily based on _ApprenticeOfDaedalus's_ idea which I will expand upon if I write the spin off.


	11. Chapter 11

_**Please Enjoy,**_

 **General Message** : Thank you to everyone who participated in our televised charity talent show, it certainly wasn't a resounding success, but it easily could have gone worse. Still we feel it's only right to let some of you know you are not talented at all, sorry.

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 **Superman:** Your interpretive dancing was not nearly as graceful as you thought, many viewers were mildly scared and a full black bodysuit is not the right look for you.

 **Martian Manhunter:** Stand up comedy is probably not the best career choice for you nor is it a good talent. The content you chose made very little sense, you never went to high school, don't make jokes about your child life if you're just stealing stories from people's memories.

 **Batman:** Your musical performance and multiple encores were very well done, your singing reduced many listeners to tears and yet another fan club formed for you. However your rapping was more than slightly hurtful towards some of your peers. Yes, you have 'lyrical flow, like a pro', but you didn't need to bash half the league and reduce them to depressed messes. We have Black Canary hosting a therapy session scheduled for next week we'd like you to attend to apologize, even if you aren't sorry.

 **Aquaman:** For once your fish obsession was working perfectly fine when you were putting on a show with your 'friends'. Things quickly went downhill when you invited a few staff members to participate and promptly let them get attacked by sharks. They were thankfully given Shark repellent Bat-Spray beforehand, so there were no fatalities although there were a few injuries.

 **Green Arrow** : It could have been simple, all you needed to do was put on an archery demonstration with some cool moves and trick shots, but instead you tried to force Hawk woman to fly around carrying targets for you to shoot while you sang off key. You both seemed to forget you're allergic to her feathers which led to you sneezing and misfiring. You shot Hawk Woman's left wing sending her crashing into a wall. The injury is being tended to and there will be no long term damages, but it stopped her from performing her act, we still aren't sure what she was going to do.

 **Green Lantern** : You should have mentioned you have stage fright instead of walking on stage freezing and nearly throwing up on stage.

 **Flash:** Your impressions were actually a hit, although they were quite bad for the most part it was funny. Some people swore they saw Batman crack a smile, but they were quickly silenced by an 'unknown assailant' so we can't be sure

 **General Message:** The total donations are still being tallied, but they are surprisingly high considering the relative mess some of you created.

* * *

 **A/N**

Thank you to 'Guest of honor' who inspired Flash's talent and pieces of Batman and Green Arrow's talents. I knew I wanted Batman to sing, but I hadn't considered rapping and I'm glad I wrote it in, it's probably my favorite part.

Chapter 11 is complete

I've already finished the next chapter and I like my ideas, but I can edit it based on your answers. I'm also interested in general: What video games would the league members play?


	12. Chapter 12

**General Message** \- Video games are going to be removed from the watchtower if things continue to progress as they have been. It's worrisome how you are reacting and growing addicted. Also any Call of Duty games are banned because Batman reaffirmed he didn't like guns after getting sniped and Injustice: Gods Among Us is definitely banned within a few minutes of it being turned on the game room was destroyed by multiple heroes.

 **Superman** : We're cutting you off from Farmville, even if it feels like you're back on the farm, 'borrowing' Batman's credit card to buy Farm bucks is not okay. On another note when you play Grand Theft Auto, you don't need to obey the traffic rules, that's almost the opposite point of the game. Also you can't try to force Batman to make a version with turn signals, because you feel guilty.

 **Green Arrow** : It's not the fault of anyone in the League that video games don't, "perfectly capture the amazingness of battle with bows and arrows." We have practice dummies and targets in the training room why don't you train in there? Stop running through the Watchtower shooting at random objects and yelling, "That's how it's done." Batman has already threatened to use you as a target while he let's Red Arrow give archery lessons to the other League members, Red Arrow has agreed and multiple people have shown interest.

 **Flash:** Sonic is just a hedgehog don't get upset that you don't think he's fast enough, please stop yelling that he's a spiky slowpoke it's weird. Just play with the chao babies and relax.

 **Batman** \- Your interest in games was actually surprising to most of us, we assumed you'd be the one to shun games to focus on work. Your choice to play Pokemon was also unexpected, but your recent wins in online competitions have been impressive, although we would caution against using Batman as your username. A big birdie told us you play Pokemon because Robin plays and he needed someone to trade with, we also heard you've been forcing members of the 'bat family' to play as bonding. In other news members of the League are clambering for Pokemon games and want your recommendations.

 **Wonder Woman** \- Walking around with over thirty tamogatchi hooked onto your suit is weird enough, but stop trying to force everyone to babysit while you're busy because, "children don't belong on the battlefield". Even though some league members were they are happy to take care of them, half of the tamogatchi ended up lying lost on the ground unattended leaving your 'babies' to die.

 **Hawk Woman** \- Please don't hold a funeral for Wonder Woman's tamogatchi your just making things worse and no you can't play the Super Mario Bros theme song for the funeral procession nor can you ride a cart wearing a princess peach costume to carry the 'dead'. Do any of you realize you can reset them? Two of the few surviving Tamogatchi are SuperBat being taken care of by Superman and LittleWing who has already been inducted into the bat family by its caretaker, Batman.

 **General Message** : We are now allowing cosplay if you want to dress as your favorite video game character, but only on the weekends and only in the tower. Not naming names, but you can't dress up as Link to fight crime, it's silly and people kept thinking you were Green Arrow, which he didn't appreciate. Superman we understand you like playing as Batman in the Arkham games, but you can't dress as him it's creepy.

* * *

 **A/N**

Thank you to the multiple people who gave me suggestions, but obviously I couldn't put all of them in unless I wanted multiple entries for characters and didn't include any of my own ideas. I will detail what I borrowed from each of you because I tried to include an idea from everyone in some way even if I moved them around.

Quick List and how I used them:

 _Guest of Honor:_ Call Of Duty (Bat Banned)

 _DDLo18_ : Mario Kart (Riding down the aisle)

 _deadlydaisy8o8_ : Arhkam, Grand Theft Auto and Farmville (Fanboy, Drivers Ed?, and a slice of home)

 _SilverPhantom88_ : Sonic (Not up to speed)

 _Dark Pheonix Reborn_ : Injustice League (Too Real...too real)

The first two entries I personally wrote were Wonder Woman's tamogatchi fascination and Batman playing Pokemon. For my versions of the two 'heroes' I could imagine Wonder woman deciding she wanted a bunch, but didn't feel like taking care of them so she pawned them off on others, but still felt terrible when they died because she abandoned them. I also loved the idea of Batman seeing one of his birds playing Pokemon and wanting someway to relate so he immediately started playing and made everyone else in his little Bat family start playing. Note: Alfred is the champion and everyone is terrified to battle him.

Thanks for reading review and let me know what you think, sorry the chapter and A/N got so long.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13,**

 **General Message** : After hearing many disturbing reports it has been decided that there will be a mandatory ethics seminar for all league members, no exceptions.

 **Flash:** When asked if you think you make ethical decisions your answer shouldn't be to wink at the woman who asked and say, "Depends on what your definition of ethical is."

 **Hawk woman:** Your answer to the same question shouldn't be, "When it suits me," and then proceed to run your hand along your mace.

 **Superman** : You were expressing all the qualities a good person and hero needed to be successful, but that quickly went downhill when Aquaman mocked you and declared your boy scout persona is why Batman doesn't like you and people think you're a dork. Throwing him into a wall is not the correct reaction and Batman's slow clap doesn't make it better. Is he rubbing off on you?

 **Aquaman** : We'd tell you not to make fun of people during an ethics seminar, but you've probably learned that considering your currently in the medical bay.

 **Wonder Woman** : Just because the general topic of workplace romance came up does not mean anyone was trying to get in the middle of you and Batman. The nonexistent romance you have is not going to be in jeopardy. So we'd suggest you stop threatening people, they were asking for someone to sedate you.

 **Martian Manhunter** : When asked about trust in the workplace your response of, "I can read minds I know who can't be trusted." and then glancing at various people just made everyone paranoid about who couldn't be trusted. We really don't need anyone being more unstable than they already are.

 **Batman** : Telling horror stories of what has happened in the league under the pretense that you want to discuss them is not OK. Most of the seminar's workers left the room in tears, gagging, or with a face frozen horror. Playing innocent doesn't work when you're smirking at the seminar ending early, thanks in part to you.

 **Green Arrow:** Offering to give out free arrows to the seminar workers to cheer them up might have been more effective if they weren't trap arrows and explosives. Somehow nobody died, but the league is being forced to cover medical costs which Batman is going to end up paying for like usual. He swore to do something unethical to you.

 **General Message** : We received a report about your performance and suggestions on what do to fix any issues. All it said was, "They're horrible and twisted monsters. Good luck, we don't know how to fix them." Needless to say it was a failure.

* * *

Thanks for reading. I figured after all they've done they should probably take part in a workplace ethics workshop/seminar and of course it wouldn't work out.

I hope you enjoyed it if there's anything you want to see let me know in a review or just review to let me know what you think.


	14. Chapter 14

**General Message** : Despite the common occurrence of League members giving and receiving terrible gifts we decided to allow monitored exchanging of gifts. Somehow Batman's suggestion of an unchecked Secret Santa was accepted. Any gifts deemed unacceptable for any reason will be confiscated and returned to the gift giver.

 **Flash** : We originally urged you to exercise extreme caution with the explosive batarangs you received from Batman who offhandedly pointed out it could easily kill someone if used correctly. After you burned down one of the Christmas trees it was decided that the rest will be confiscated,

 **Batman** : Superman seemed very proud of the misshapen black scarf he knitted you and thankfully you accepted without making a negative comment, nobody wanted to deal with Superman pouting on Christmas. Plus you wore it when you left immediately after saying you were going to spend time with 'your birds'.

 **Superman** : You were so high on happiness that Batman 'enjoyed' your gift that you didn't notice how pathetic yours was. Martian Manhunter gave you an old ear of corn reasoning that it would remind you of home, because you grew up on a farm. Flash later ate it not realizing it was a gift nor how old it was.

 **Martian Manhunter** : There were a variety of responses when you opened Wonder woman's gift a very 'graphic' graphic tee-shirt. A tee-shirt as a gift for you wouldn't be great in the first place, but the fact that it had a nearly naked Batman on the front made it even worse. We didn't even know martians could blush. The gift was confiscated, but more than a few members were clamoring for it, we're not sure what this says about the league. Luckily Batman had already left when it was opened, but somehow he'll find out and then the problems will begin.

 **Wonder woman** : We are more than slightly upset that Aquaman decided to give you a bunch of fish to take care of. We've seen how you dealt with Tamogatchi and those weren't even alive. Please don't let them die, we don't need you and Aquaman having a breakdown. In other news some members of the league are requesting batman graphic clothing, but perhaps a bit less 'graphic'. Superman in particular wants one though he asks that Batman be wearing a bit more of his suit, but "doesn't mind a bit of skin if you want." You have started a very dangerous trend be prepared for the consequences.

 **Aquaman** : We're assuming the box of goldfish crackers you received from Flash was a gag gift and not as a result of him only wanting to buy food. We're also hoping you were joking about wanting to see them swim and knew they would fall apart in water.

 **General message:** We also noticed every league member's closet and drawers were filled with slightly more appropriate Batman themed clothing as special gifts. Batman didn't come forward as the gift giver, but he seemed pretty pleased that most of the league were wearing shirts that said, "Batman is better than you." Aside from a few exceptions, anyone who was wearing 'Wonder woman brand' clothing of him almost nude was taken into a room alone with him and left without their clothes and completely terrified.

* * *

 **A/N**

Sorry I didn't post the last two weeks, I've been extremely busy, but here is the latest chapter. To be honest I never planned on doing any holiday specific chapters, but once the idea hit me it stuck and you know 'tis the season.

Please review and let me know what you thought.

 **Question** : Do you want me to do a chapter for New Years and if so who should kiss? (Any character combinations are acceptable)


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N** \- The name that comes first is who the message is addressed to and the second name is the other person involved.

Please enjoy,

 **General Message** : We've been asked to highlight some of the events of the night for everyone who can't remember the mistakes they made, and there are many beyond what we will mention. We'd also suggest next time not to make it a 24 hour party so you can celebrate the New Year for every time-zone.

 **Wonder Woman & Batman**\- Things were almost romantic, Batman brought you in for a deep kiss when the ball dropped in the first hour and things were fine. However like usual things went downhill, Wonder Woman you tend to get possessive. The example being when you punched Hawkwoman in the face for coming over to talk to Batman. You calmed down after a while, but it was apparent that you were watching to make sure there was no 'competition'.

 **Superman & Batman?**\- Superman going to Batman for advice is rarely suggested, that was your first mistake. When his response to your question, how do I approach someone to ask for a kiss, was "Just go for it don't bother asking, they'll dodge you if they need to...probably", you should have realized that was a problem.

 **Green Arrow & Black Canary**: Green Arrow we'd suggest not putting arrows into a belt around your waist on Batman's advice. When you moved in to kiss Canary an arrow ended up pressed against her causing confusion and a bit of pain when she kicked you and you accidentally stabbed her.

 **Black Canary & Batman:** A revenge kiss with Batman to upset Green arrow was honestly quite stupid, Wonder Woman ended up going on the warpath and started hunting Green Arrow when you lied and said he made you do it. Like usual Batman enjoyed the whole thing without trying to diffuse the situation.

 **Flash & Fire/Hawkwoman**: Flash we understand you were excited to give Fire a kiss, but haven't you learned that running in a crowd of tipsy heroes isn't a good idea? Unsurprisingly you tripped and headbutted Hawkwoman, who was still recovering from Wonder Woman's rage, in the face. Batman may have given you a trademark smirk of approval and you still got your kiss from Fire, but please try to be more careful.

 **Hawkwoman & Green Lantern**: Hawkwoman you have our sympathies that accidents seemed to keep happening with you at the center, but trying to solve them with violence is not the answer. If your plan was to purposefully cause as much damage to others as was done to you accidentally, then you succeeded. Though things calmed down once you ended up in a corner making out with Green Lantern.

 **Superman & Nobody**\- Despite Batman's terrible advice you were too uncomfortable stealing a kiss to do anything, which was probably for the best. You seemed to enjoy the party, but when it came to a close you started to enter your pouting mode. Batman patted you on the head and said, "Happy New Year, boyscout." Somehow that provided all the affection you needed for the New Year. We're worried you're starved for attention and that you're going to be manipulated, namely by Batman your 'best friend'.

 **General Message:** We are putting out a request that any league members that are still functioning to help move the bodies of the heroes who are still unconscious after the party. Batman you are excused because when you decided to 'help' you merely threw Aquaman into the trash, where he still is sleeping.

* * *

 **A/N**

Happy New Year,

Basically everyone who commented wanted a Wonder Woman and Batman kiss, which of course I was going to do so I hope you enjoyed it. I really like their 'romance' in the story, Wonder Woman is highly possessive and Batman doesn't mind because she seems to be one of the few members he actually can stand.

I stated that I originally wasn't planning on doing any holiday themed chapters, but I think there's a lot of potential so my next chapter might be about the resolutions everyone made. After that things will go back to normal assuming I even choose to do a resolution chapter.

 **Question:** What resolutions do you think the various characters made?


	16. Chapter 16

**General Message** : Many league members decided to create a new year resolution, however instead of bettering yourselves most of you just resolved to continue if not worsen or create new poor behavior and habits.

 **Superman:** It's nice that you're trying to switch things up, but wearing black and trying to pull of a raspy voice to be more like Batman doesn't suit you even if it is in the name of 'friendship'. Surprisingly Batman actually agrees, although he did say, 'Aspiring to be like me is admirable, but you can't achieve my level of perfection.' He suggested instead you improve your 'interrogation techniques', we aren't really looking forward to the results.

 **Wonder Woman** : Deciding to improve your relationship with Batman is fine, but your means thus far have been abysmal despite the occasionally positive results. Declaring him 'yours' and posting warnings about touching him in the watchtower was over the top, you also can't marry someone without their consent. You'll have to explain to Superman why he can't be the best man, we don't want to deal with him.

 **Martian Manhunter** : Wanting to increase your knowledge on humans and ability to interact with them is one of the few good resolutions. However you can't dig through the other members rooms and steal things, it isn't beneficial. Return Hawkwoman's spare mask, it doesn't suit you plus she's quite upset and already spitting out threats.

 **Batman:** Deciding to further your grip and control over the other members of the league is downright disturbing. Especially because you intend to do it through manipulation, fear tactics, and all the new 'inventions' you've been creating. You also can't rename the league 'Batman and his Bitches' or at least we don't think you're allowed to. Who wrote the rule book for this place, anyway?

 **Flash** : Just deciding to include more sugar in your diet and begging Batman to convince the kitchen staff to buy and bake more cupcakes is unhealthy.

 **Aquaman:** You don't need a bigger tank, you just don't. Also sushi will not be taken off the menu most people enjoy it. What do you even eat in Atlantis, if not sea creatures?

 **Green Lantern** : Using puns and quotes involving rings is already annoying people. Yelling, 'The Ring has awoken, it's heard its masters call', every time you use it has upset a few members already. However we will have a Lord of the Rings movie night, like you suggested.

 **General** **Message** : After a close vote it has been decided the Justice League will indeed keep it's name and it can't be contested again for at least a year. Our resolution is simply to try to reign in you heroes and try to control the daily chaos you create.

* * *

 **A/N**

I'm sorry I haven't been updating, I'm usually good at posting at posting once a week or at least every other week. However my laptop charger broke and getting a new one has proven quite difficult, I'm currently using a public computer in my college's honors lounge. My new charger should be here next week so hopefully I'll be able to post regularly again afterwards.

Let me know what you guys think. There is no question this chapter, things will be going back to "normal" for the league so the holiday chapters are done.

 **Credits** : I was happy I received so many suggestions from everyone in the reviews, but obviously I couldn't use them all.

Ni Castle: I integrated both of your ideas into WW and Superman's resolutions

Guest of Honor: I used pieces from your ideas about Flash, Wonder Woman, Superman, and Aquaman.

Angry lil' Elf: I'm sorry I didn't use any of your suggestions the issue is they were ideas that would be good and make them better people. I basically only wanted to encourage them to be worse and show that they have no intention of improving themselves in a positive fashion. Those would be things the board would suggest for them to do, but still thanks a ton.


	17. Chapter 17

**General Message:** Welcome to the Kingdom of the Watchtower, please bow before all royalty.

 **Shining** **Knight** : Please stop bringing your flying horse to the watchtower, he seems to dislike certain members and is quite distracting. It doesn't matter that you were a knight of the round table and blessed by Merlin you don't get special treatment. Plus your decision to refer to yourself as Sir Justin has led members to follow suit by giving themselves titles. We now have to deal with Prince Flash, Superman the Duke of Metropolis, Queen Diana (she's the only true royalty, but she's a princess), and of course King Batman. King Batman promises to allow you to join his 'oval table' should you choose to join.

 **King** **Batman** : Why, why do you have to do these things? We don't need a monarchy, this is just going to take the voice away from the other members and allow you to make decisions for everyone. Plus other people are getting on board soon nobody will be able to oppose you, this is more like a dictatorship than anything else. You're also choosing who is allowed to serve in your court and who is forced to be a peasant, this could easily hurt teamwork when some members believe themselves better than others.

 **Queen Diana** : We aren't surprised that you jumped on this and decided to become Batman's new wife and queen of the league. You're the only member who actually is royalty, although you're a princess.

 **Prince Nightwing:** This makes sense the entire bat clan has been promoted to the status as royalty regardless of how much or little they are involved in the league. Please try to control them, we can't ask the king because he's happy to let them run wild.

 **Earl Flash** : We aren't sure how you got this title, but we don't care. Just stop running around and shoving your noble status in the face of everyone who you see, your enemies don't need to know about it nor do your friends.

 **Superman Duke of the League:** Your begging and whining has succeeded, congratulations Batman has made you a duke. However he also made you an errand boy, which is not the job of a duke. You don't need to do that for him even if you profess that you are happy to 'serve the king however you can.' Your loyalty is impressive and sad, do what you want we can't stop you.

 **Zatanna** : You don't really need to worry about the fake monarchy so trying to apply as court wizard is unnecessary. Which means you aren't in competition with Dr. Fate, we assume he at least will ignore this out of hand mess.

 **Dr.** **Fate** : Joining the new Watchtower Kingdom will not 'foster order', if anything it will just make things worse around here. Think about it Batman is going to be a king who knows what he'll do. Actually that really isn't a big change is it? He already makes up his own rules and bosses people around, now he'll just have the monarchy behind him.

 **Aquaman** : Batman is offering to meet with you to discuss peace talks so when he tries to conquer the world you won't get in the way. He will promise to leave the sea alone, but he may require your assistance to attack the world if and when the time comes.

 **Peasants:** To the entire staff we are sorry Batman has named you peasants, aside from the doctors and head chef because you 'serve a purpose'. You may be joined by other League members if Batman doesn't like them.

 **General Message** : If you wish to join Batman's kingdom you can head to his court to apply, he will judge you and make his decision. We urge you not to, this can only go poorly.

* * *

I had written this entire chapter and was ending it with my Shining Knight section when I was suddenly inspired. I knew that there was no chance the other league members would let it pass without joining in. Batman in particular would love to be King and of course Wonder Woman would demand to be Queen.

Angry lil' elf's review inspired the Shining Knight section and since my entire chapter was born from that, essentially Angry lil' elf inspired this entire chapter. Thank you for your suggestion.


	18. Chapter 18

**General Message:** In his most recent decree King Batman decided that everyone had to earn money because he was annoyed that he was constantly paying for things. He didn't enact the tithe he was considering, but he is instead forcing all league members to 'fund raise' in any way they can.

 **Hawk Woman:** Trying to sell life size wings styled after your own was a horrible idea considering how you decided to build them. The ones you made with built in rockets (without informing anyone) immediately sent the first customers flying and they either malfunctioned allowing the people to fall to the ground or smashed them into something. The league is being sued by multiple people, all you've done is lose us money.

 **Superman:** Your homemade cookies are quite delicious and everyone in the league agrees on that, but they aren't girl scouts. Nobody is going to go door to door selling the cookies. The only one who could actually do it would be the Flash who needs to 'refuel' during his work by eating all the cookies. However, Batman is requesting the recipe so he can make it a staple in his kingdom's official diet.

 **Aquaman** : Just because you're sulking about Batman declaring you a low-ranking member in his kingdom doesn't mean you don't have to participate. Do a dolphin show or something, Batman may make you a flat out peasant if you don't at least try to follow his commands. This is honestly a mess and we're sad that we are now advocating you serving the King, but for the time being try not to upset him.

 **Booster Gold:** Stop harassing members to be in a commercial with you. The only superhero who actually eats at 'Big Belly Burger' is Flash and even he admits it's pretty bad. However we've heard Aquaman is considering it mainly because he thinks they only kill land animals and plants and he has nothing else to do (Don't mention their questionable fish fillet sandwich).

 **Wonder Woman** : Nobody is quite sure how or when you contacted the photographers that were planning on creating a calendar made of nude photos of league members, but that is most certainly not allowed even if Green Arrow is all for it. The idea isn't all that bad we'll look into making a Justice League calendar with photos of the league members, but they will be clothed.

 **Captain Marvel:** We aren't entirely sure what 'studying for midterms' relates to, but Batman has decided to allow you out of any obligations to do whatever it is that you need, he also offered to 'tutor' you. Once again we have no idea what's going on, but just try not to cause any trouble.

 **Green Arrow:** Apparently in your case having to 'study for midterms' is not a valid excuse and you are forced to continue participating in this insane attempt to earn some money for the league. Another note, you can't sell arrows to the public if they're made from live explosives, we are facing multiple lawsuits.

 **Batman:** You can't extort money out of people by threatening not to save certain places in disasters if they don't pay for your services. Charging people for protection goes against the point of being a hero. Telling the entirety of Belgium that they're out of luck next time aliens attack the planet unless they pay up, is truly deplorable. However if the deals go through, you will bring in more money than everyone else combined.

 **General Message:** A line of league inspired teddy bears was released based on designs originally conceived for Robin years ago. Bat-bear has been selling millions worldwide and is bringing a steady stream of profit, all of which Batman declared was going to him minus what is needed to pay for the lawsuits. Thankfully due to the money coming in Batman has decided the world deserves to be protected and Belgium is once again safe.

* * *

(I just published a companion work which could work as an alternate for this chapter, it's in a different format so it's a separate story: What's a Date Worth?")

So here is another random chapter relating to the Bat Kingdom, but it will not last the rest of this series (if it can be called that) so don't expect all the following chapters to be set in Batman's kingdom.

I kind of love writing about the dichotomy between how Batman treats most people vs how he acts towards the one's he likes. Batman is willing to threaten an entire country for some cash, but he still offers to help a kid when he needs to study.

Sorry for not writing a Valentines Day chapter, but I felt like it would be somewhat repetitive if I wrote about romance again because it would obviously feature Wonder Woman and Batman's disastrous relationship and I don't want that getting stale too quickly.

Thanks for reading and let me know what you thought and anything suggestions you might want me to include.


	19. Chapter 19

**General Message** : There is no plague and nobody is dying, please calm down. We understand you have been led to believe that Batman is on the verge of death and some virus is infecting the league, but none of it is true.

 **Flash** : Just because Batman is coughing and feeling a bit sick does not mean there is a plague. We don't care that Batman never get's sick, you can worry about him if you like, but running through the watchtower screaming that a plague has broken out and Batman is dying is not good for morale. The news spread quickly and soon half the league members were convinced they were going to die.

 **Hawkwoman** : We aren't sure how you came to the conclusion that you needed to 'dispose' of anyone who is contaminated, but stop hunting down random league members, nobody is infected. What's your standard for who is and isn't infected?

 **Wonder Woman** : Nursing Batman back to health is very sweet, but your methods leave quite a bit to be desired. Specifically your decision that his clothes were probably to blame and that you needed to take his suit off. Also he needs very simple medication you can get from a store not a potion you got from a gypsy on the side of some road. We're fairly certain sure it's a love potion not one to help with colds, so you're being replaced with Superman.

 **Superman:** You're jumping the gun a bit by trying to prepare a funeral for your best friend and sobbing uncontrollably. He will survive please stop the waterworks, it's making people uncomfortable and furthering their belief that something is happening. We've also decided you have to replace Wonder Woman as Batman's main caretaker, she's not helping. Bring actual medicine if there is anything made by a gypsy we will replace you as well.

 **Green Lantern:** Please come out of the bubble you created, it's safe we promise.

 **Aquaman:** You don't need to hide underwater, it isn't an airborne disease and your sea friends can't help you.

 **Martian Manhunter** : Please don't try to initiate a lock down if you don't know how the new system works. You set off thee fire alarms and drenched the cafeteria as well as the hallways. More people were hurt by slipping than they were by this nonexistent sickness.

 **Batman** : Please don't come to the watchtower if you have a cold, you managed to start an all out riot just by sneezing a few times and coughing. For once we actually don't think you did this on purpose although we aren't entirely sure how you got sick. Still this does show the power you have over the league, it's a bit disturbing.

 **Nightwing:** Thank you for your call to explain the situation. Batman caught the cold while taking care of the Bat family, most of whom had caught colds. His fatherly duties left him ill and that led to the entire league suffering.

 **Green Arrow:** We are sorry that you actually did get sick, but that was beacause you drank Wonder Woman's gypsy juice, not for any other reason.

 **General Message:** Most of you are aliens or have superpowers that protect you from getting sick anyway, why are you worried?

* * *

 **A/N**

Chapter 19 is complete and I hope you enjoyed it.

Let me know what you think and if there's anything you might want to see.


	20. Chapter 20

**General Message** : Batman has to go on a covert mission alone so nobody be alarmed when you don't see him for the next week or so. Please try to keep yourselves under control during his absence, of course things probably couldn't get worse than when he's here stirring things up.

 **Wonder Woman** : To be honest we expected you to freak out, but we didn't know you'd start punching through walls to relieve your anger over Batman 'hitting up his side chicks'. We're fairly certain Batman has no side chicks so please keep your anger in check, you know Batman will just be angry once he gets back and finds the Watchtower in disarray.

 **Superman** : It's only been a few days you can't seriously be feeling separation anxiety over the fact that he isn't around and you can't visit him. Please turn off the depressing music and come out of your room, we're starting to worry about you. Batman will be back eventually then he can console you or at least acknowledge your existence.

 **Captain** **Marvel** : You're a grown adult, you don't need Batman to give you 'fatherly advice'. Whatever your trouble is you can handle it yourself or ask Superman if you can coax him out of his room.

 **Flash** : You don't need Batman to convince the kitchen staff to prepare your favorite food for you, just ask like a normal person. We understand they don't like you and usually Batman has to do all the talking for you, but for once just handle it or eat healthy food.

 **HawkWoman** \- We're not sure how you got the idea that the tower was now in anarchy and that an all out war began, but please stop attacking people. You alreday landed a few people in the infirmary.

 **Green** **Lantern** \- We will tell you what we told HawkWoman this is not some battle royale, just stay calm and wait until we have some measure of stability before doing anything else.

 **Green** **Arrow** \- Now is not the time for re-decoration while Batman is away, Green doesn't look good on the walls especially since your trying to paint it yourself.

 **Black** **Canary** \- Where have you been? It'd be nice to have at least one level headed person around among the masses of crazed league members running amok.

 **Aquaman** \- This most certainly is not your chance to overthrow the kingdom and take control of the league, you aren't the king and you aren't the leader. Stop preparing your sharks for battle.

 **Martian** **Manhunter** : Tell everyone to evacuate the watchtower, you managed to set off the defense systems and only Batman actually knows how to deactivate them. This is why we don't touch Batman's things.

 **General** **Message** : Although we never imagined we would say this, but the league is better off with Batman around. Morale is at an all time low, most of the league members who aren't in the infirmary have been spending their time destroying the Watchtower, and of course now we've all been driven out.

 **Batman** : You seem disturbingly pleased with how things have fallen apart in your absence, please clean things up and don't act smug about the poor mental state of your fellow league members.

 **General** **Message** : Batman has returned and thankfully managed to put the defenses on standby, he is organizing a clean up and will be handing out punishments to the various league members depending on his whims. Aquaman watch yourself, trying to usurp control is a big no-no and Superman we're very happy about your swift recovery.

* * *

 **A/N**

Chapter 20 is complete, I can't believe I've come this far on this story. Thank you to everyone who has been reading, following, favoriting, and reviewing so far. I hope you continue to enjoy my story.

Please let me know what you think and let me know if you have any ideas, once again thank you.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21,**

 **General Message** : We still aren't sure who started posting flyers about Batman and Superman having a showdown, but please remove them quickly. People are already starting to get excited and excitement tends to lead to trouble.

 **Green Lantern:** We had no idea you had a gambling problem, stop trying to set up a betting ring over a fight that shouldn't happen it's helping nobody. We're going to set you up in a group for people with gambling addictions, remember the first step is admitting it.

 **HawkWoman:** You can't try to intimidate people into betting, this isn't a mafia movie and you aren't Green Lantern's thug.

 **Martian Manhunter** : No matter what anyone told you, you do not need to send out telepathic messages informing everyone of the upcoming fight. We don't know if we can stop this fight, but we should at least prevent people from showing up.

 **Black Canary:** You don't need to open a concession stand to sell snacks. Why is everyone trying to make money off this? If choose to ignore us then remember you're going to be serving the Flash at some point so make a lot or he'll get angry and hungry. We aren't sure which is worse.

 **Green Arrow:** You never learned how to cook, don't try to help Black Canary we can already smell smoke. You most certainly can't use explosive arrows to toast things, that's not how cooking works.

 **Wonder Woman** : Don't create a cheering section so you can force people to root for Batman and degrade Superman. We've heard some of the obscenities you are planning to scream, even after all we've seen and heard in the past that was still disturbing.

 **Superman** : You seem to be getting pretty pumped which seems unlike you, are you trying to prove something? You might literally destroy the entire watchtower if you get too serious. Why would you even want to fight Batman, aren't you sort of friends or at least trying to be?

 **Aquaman** : We realized you've been egging Superman on by convincing him that beating Batman would earn him respect. We understand that you and Batman have you're differences, but this will almost certainly come back to bite you.

 **General Message:** Are you all pleased? Nobody informed Batman about this ridiculous fight so he wasn't prepared for Superman to punch him moments after he stepped into the tower after a long fight with the Joker. He's currently in the medical wing and if his dark rants are anything to go by you are all doomed. Superman is missing we think he saw the error of his ways, if you see him please try to deal with him.

 **Batman** : We heard you planning to destroy the rest of the league, but doesn't that seem like a bit much? We can't believe we're using this as an argument, but don't you still need people to boss around.

 **Nightwing** : Are you here to check on Batman or to help him exact his revenge? The remarkably Batmanesque scowl you're wearing makes us believe your reasons for being here lean towards the latter.

 **Flash** : Don't let Nightwing recruit you into helping Batman follow through on his evil plot, we know you're friends, but don't fall to the dark side. Is this because Black Canary didn't make you enough food?

* * *

 **A/N**

Alright chapter 21 is done and posted.

Ni Castle and Guest of Honor both mentioned Batman v Superman so I tried to make my own battle between them in a slightly less dramatic sense. It just happened to have been made without Batman knowing and was used as a scheme for money and entertainment.

Next chapter will probably be about Batman trying to get revenge on nearly the entire league, be prepared for a reckoning.

Please let me know what you think and if you have anything you might like to see in upcoming chapters mention it in a review.

* * *

 **A/N**

I do want to address something recently I received a guest review saying that this fan fiction was mainly me bashing Superman. I have no problem with their opinion, everyone is entitled to their opinions and can let me know what they think, but I want to let you know that this isn't intended to "bash" any one character.

Nearly every character is painted in a negative light at some point, most likely often and Batman is certainly included. In short although I'm making the story set as Batman being a mastermind in multiple chapters, he's really more of an antagonist than anything else. I really like Superman, I just happen to enjoy making him a dependent person in this piece, because I think it fits well and provides me plenty of room for jokes.

I literally can't make any character good or normal otherwise it defeats the purpose so don't be offended by how I treat characters.


	22. Chapter 22

**General Message** : The watchtower is currently in a state of paranoia and terror. We would tell you to remain calm, but Batman may very well be planning to destroy you. The watchtower has been set in a state of lock down so nobody can escape the incoming horrors. The power keeps temporarily going out and by the time the lights go back on at least one person is missing or incapacitated.

 **Batman** : Nobody has seen you since you exited the medical bay, the only trace of you is the dark laughter coming from seemingly nowhere and the occasional threat in your handwriting stuck to an unconscious league member. Try to remember that nothing good comes from violence and at the very least don't kill anyone.

 **Nightwing** : We don't know how or when you replaced your escrima sticks with actual scythes, but dragging them along the ground to create a screeching noise and kicking up sparks isn't safe. We aren't sure if you're herding the league members somewhere or if you're just trying to further instill fear in them, but it's working.

 **Green Lantern** : We still can't find any solvent to remove the many fake rings super glued to your fingers nor has anyone located your actual ring, instead more fake booby trapped rings seem to be popping up and they're growing more dangerous considering the newest ones now administer near lethal levels of electricity upon a single touch. Please don't touch any more unless you're sure it's the right ring.

 **Hawkwoman** : It was probably wrong of Batman to drug you and pluck your wings, but at least he replaced them although it was with some unknown heavy metal. Which explains why you're currently lying on the ground like an upside down turtle.

 **Wonder Woman** : Please stop fighting Superman, we aren't entirely sure who came up with the idea for the battle, but Superman was only a piece of the problem not the primary cause. If you have to take your aggression out try doing it in the training areas, all you've done is destroy everything and everyone in your way. You should also probably look into the issue of your lasso of truth disappearing and snakes somehow ending up in your suits.

 **Superman** : Don't let Wonder Woman hit you in punishment for what you've done. Sure you hurt Batman, but he's already up and lurking in the shadows. If anything you should be more worried about what he might do to you. The fact that kryptonite disguised as rock candy was offered in the dining hall was a punishment for everyone.

 **Aquaman** : Nobody knows where you fish are or why your tanks are filled with unidentifiable sludge, though we can be reasonably sure Batman was involved. All anyone found was a single note saying, 'I know what you did' written in blood. We don't know whose blood it is, but watch out for yourself.

 **Flash** : We realize you're helping Batman and Nightwing to protect yourself, but poisoning the food supply is a bit much, half the heroes are currently sick and some are convinced they are despite not eating any food. This is the second time Cyborg has been thrown up on by Martian Manhunter since the Oreo incident and neither party is happy.

 **General Announcement:** Very few people are actually left in a state where they can function, most are sick or otherwise injured. Everyone is scared and the inescapable darkness with traps hidden behind every corner isn't helping. Batman hasn't even made his appearance yet, but he is clearly around considering he is still pumping an unidentified glowing gas through the vents and laughing through the PA system which he hacked to scare people as they tried to hide.

* * *

 **A/N**

The chapter is complete, but I'm not entirely sure how I feel about it. I don't think it's bad, but I feel like it's almost anti-climactic. I just didn't want to go over the top.

Anyway I need to say thank you to everyone for all favorites, follows, and reviews I've received so far. Over 100 people are following this story and almost 100 have marked it as a favorite it and I'm very grateful.

Let me know what you think of this chapter, and as always thanks for reading.


	23. Chapter 23

**General Message** : We are sorry to inform you that the Justice League has to gather for a press conference which will be broadcast worldwide. The subject is mainly about how the league intends on keeping the world safe and any future plans, it's all very standard. Everyone must be on their absolute best behavior so we don't cause any problems, there are already a decent amount of people who resent us and we're just starting to win people over again.

 **Batman** : Please don't threaten anyone be it reporters or entire countries, we don't want another Belgium incident. If you really want to give some stern warnings to villains that's fine, but don't force the conference to end just because too many people are scared or crying. Don't offhandedly offer to give a show on how your weapons work on anyone in the crowd who interrupts you.

 **Flash** : Just because a group of people are gathered in front of you does not mean they're all attending a comedy performance put on by you. They didn't come to listen to your jokes especially if you try to turn it into a roast and make fun of people, you've started brawls in the past and we don't need that now.

 **Green Arrow** : No jokes, no trick arrows, and no shooting fake explosives into large crowds isn't an icebreaker, it's insane. There are plenty of people of people who might react poorly, like anyone with half a functioning brain and a bit of sense.

 **Black Canary:** Don't get annoyed at Green Arrow, when you yell sometimes you go overboard and we don't need you canary screaming into a microphone... again. The league, essentially Batman, doesn't want to be saddled with more medical bills for ear surgeries.

 **Nightwing:** Most of the league is perfectly happy when you attend these events, Batman and a few others in particular get excited. Although you might not be in the league we have to request you be on your best behavior and not play any pranks. We know Batman forwards you copies of all our PSAs so don't pretend you didn't see this.

 **Wonder Woman** : Please keep your opinions to yourself if they're going to offend almost everyone who hears them. We don't need any repeat performances of your racist, sexist, and disturbing comments, whether or not they're intentional.

 **Martian Manhunter:** You can't just disappear when you get bored, we've had this discussion with Batman in the past for different reasons, but even he can't go invisible like you do. It makes people nervous, when an invisible alien is hanging out around them breathing down their necks literally and metaphorically.

 **Hawkwoman** : It is very rare that anyone actually is trying to start a fight with you because they aren't fools, so don't assume everyone is there to attack you. Every random person wearing sunglasses is not your newest opponent and cameras are not weapons, they're just annoying. paranoia isn't a great quality for a superhero, though apparently Batman hasn't received that memo.

 **Captain Marvel** : Just try to stay still and not fidget, to be fair you're better than most of the heroes, but you end up looking restless and worried when you can't stand straight. Batman promised to buy you some ice cream if you behave and join in on any plans he might eventually make.

 **Superman** : You generally seem surprisingly good at playing the part of a proper hero so please keep up the decent work, don't let anyone corrupt you.

 **General Message:** Things had gone somewhat smoothly, but at the last moment Wonder Woman caused a major scene by announcing her pregnancy on live television in front of a crowd just before everyone returned to the Watchtower. We need to do damage control of some sort and figure out if she's telling the truth. We aren't sure how to punish her, so can someone come up with something besides Batman?

* * *

 **A/N**

Chapter 23 is complete, I really enjoyed this whole little idea I came up with. Plus I set myself up for a chapter about Wonder Woman's possible pregnancy which you can expect to see in the future.

Thanks for reading and let me know what you think.


	24. Chapter 24

General Message: The entire watchtower is in an uproar over Wonder Woman's announced pregnancy. There have been tears, celebrations, and oddly enough battles. We urge everyone to calm down and take care not to upset either of the parents to be. With Wonder Woman possibly being hormonal and Batman shifting into father mode, they will be more dangerous than ever if provoked.

Hawkwoman: Baby showers are meant to be thrown later in the pregnancy she isn't even showing yet and the gifts people have been bringing include far too many weapons to be safe. Seriously whoever sent explosives need to take them back and the same goes for the chemical set someone sent.

Green Lantern: Getting the baby a power ring is extremely irresponsible you can't force a baby into joining the green lantern corps and taking him or her under your wing. Batman has said he'll take the ring, but he'd kill you before he'd let you take his child.

Superman: We've never seen you so adamant about anything than you are that you have to be the godfather. You beat up Aquaman for jokingly suggesting that he get the title. Don't worry the rumor mill says you're the most likely choice because you're one of the only people Batman doesn't hate and you're less likely to put the child in danger. The other possible choice is Agent A from the bat clan or another bat family member if Batman decides to make it someone within the family.

Aquaman: Wonder Woman is not having a water birth and even if she did it wouldn't be in one of your tanks, Batman thinks they're unsanitary. He also mentioned he thinks you are unsanitary.

Captain Marvel: A baby isn't going to be a playmate or little brother, you're an adult. Why are we constantly having these types of issues with you? Talk to Batman like you usually do in problematic situations he'll set you straight, if he feels like it.

Flash: Don't suggest that you be the one to break the news to the Amazons just because you want to gawk at beautiful women, that could be dangerous. Let Wonder Woman do it, if anyone will survive it would be her. We don't know how they'll react, especially her mother.

Batman: You're clearly happy at the news people have sworn they saw you smile and Wonder Woman seems to like your new protective streak. Though just because someone looks at her in a way you don't like doesn't mean you get to attack them, Green Arrow's unconscious body in the medical bay is a good example.

Green Arrow: Just cover your eyes when you walk by Wonder Woman from now on, we don't know what else to say.

Martian Manhunter: We've never seen you so emotional, well technically your face didn't move at all and your expression was completely neutral, but you did start crying. Of course the tear gas set off when Green Arrow was beat up might have been related, but we're sticking with you caring.

Wonder Woman: At this point Batman is high on happiness, or whatever similar emotion he has, and willing to go along with what you want as long as it's beneficial for the baby. However we have to wonder what you could be doing that's so useful when you drag him into dark rooms at random times, though he doesn't seem to mind it much.

Nightwing: With all this talk of children we have heard rumors that you and Batman may be planning on bringing the entire batfamily into the watchtower to see the mother to be of his child. We beg you not to do this, nobody knows what will happen.

General Message: In all the excitement nobody has worried much about the fact that Wonder Woman hasn't proven she's pregnant, she's done other crazy things to get Batman's attention. On the other hand if Batman and Wonder Woman are going to be having a child we wish the best of luck, to the rest of the world who will face the wrath of you two and any child with your skills and inevitable mental trauma.

* * *

 **A/N**

So there it is the pregnancy chapter. As I mentioned in the chapter, I may make a cross over chapter where the bat family invades the watchtower to do whatever it is they choose to do and react to the news.

Thanks for reading, let me know what you thought.

Question: What would Batman want to name the baby boy/girl?

Question: What would Wonder Woman want to name the baby boy/girl?

Questions: What would you name the baby boy/girl?


	25. Chapter 25

**General Message:** Members of the Batfamily have arrived please do everything in your power to stay out of their way if you care about your life. We can't actually tell the majority of the Batfamily what to do, so we'll simply try to keep track of them and do our best.

 **Nightwing** : We understand you have a familiarity for the layout of the watchtower, but please don't use that to organize the batfamily's various 'activities', you should be trying to keep them under control. You may be able to pull off the cute and innocent look far better than an adult male should, but the rest of your siblings aren't as good at avoiding suspicion. Someone will inevitably end up hurt or in trouble, surely you realize how dangerous your family is?

 **Red Hood:** You're not even technically a hero, you can't be here for the express purpose of flirting with league members and sneaking around to steal things. The excuse that you 'just want to meet the mother of your easily corruptible little brother' is slightly disturbing, you don't even know the gender. We'd ask you to leave, but you still have guns on you and nobody feels like starting a gun fight.

 **Robin** \- We assume you aren't happy about Wonder Woman's pregnancy based on the fact that you kept glaring at her stomach before you disappeared. The child isn't trying to usurp your role as Batman's 'partner' and favorite. Though all the other members of the Batfamily believe they are the favorite, Nightwing is particularly adamant. Also we're pretty sure you aren't allowed to bring dogs onto the watchtower, especially to let them loose, but only Batman has the full book of rules so he can change them at will.

 **Red Robin** : Please don't hack our systems so you can check through Wonder Woman's medical history. We aren't sure what you're trying to check specifically, but like the other birds you seem to be involved in some plot. You're one of the more level headed people in the family, can't you at least be reasoned with?

 **Oracle** \- We're sorry the watchtower isn't extremely handicap accessible, but you don't need to throw weapons at everyone you come across. Where are you even getting them? You forced most of the league into an impromptu conference on the rights of the disabled.

 **Batgirl:** It's nice to see that you're being friendly and chatting to Wonder Woman, discussing children names, expected gender, how Wonder Woman knew, what her plans are, and how she was feeling.

 **Black Bat** : You're also following Wonder Woman around, but you haven't spoken to her at all. Instead you've been watching her silently. Luckily she's too interested in talking to Batgirl to actually care about your silent vigil.

 **General Message:** Although they refuse to disclose how, a series of tests were performed without Wonder Woman's knowledge or consent by the Birds. Their results, although dubiously gather have been verified as viable. Therefore it has been proven that Wonder Woman is not pregnant and never was. It is still undisclosed how they found out or why they were suspicious, but now we have to deal with the fallout.

 **Red Hood:** In hindsight don't you think telling Batman the results by popping up and saying you're not the father, wasn't a great idea.

 **Batman** : Where are you? One minute you were chatting with Nightwing then you heard the news about Wonder Woman and disappeared. This can't be good, we're putting out a message to all league members to be on their guard, they could be in danger. This was one of the few times when Batman seemed genuinely happy about something and it was stolen away, we guess we should thank the Batfamily for figuring it out before it went any further.

 **Wonder Woman:** WHY? What possessed you to do this, you may have set in motion an unavoidable chain of events. If Batman is angry someone is going to end up having to try to calm him down and that will most likely go poorly.

 **General Message** : Batfamily against our better judgement we're extending an invitation to stay until Batman is back to normal, we don't know if anyone is equip to handle the anger we fear might come from him. Also agent A's feast is put on hold for the time being, although we heard there would be some non-pregnant friendly food, so he was probably skeptical of the pregnancy as well.

* * *

 **A/N**

It took 25 chapters, but the Batfamily finally made it. Sorry to burst the bubble everyone, I did leave little mentions that the baby might not be real and lo and behold she isn't pregnant. Sorry, PSAJ (new acronym) wouldn't make sense because wonder woman would be pregnant for multiple chapters and then I'd have to write in a baby. Little Martha would alter the entire story and it would be PSA of batsitting (though that does sound fun).

These chapters may only be loosely related, but I can't write out a baby once it's born. Maybe I'll write a spin off alternate story line because I do like the idea, especially in this twisted continuity of mine.

This chapter was basically small hints at how the Batfamily was working together to run their little operation to figure things out.

Also thank you for the responses the most popular seemed to be that Batman would name the child after his parents, which I think is completely plausible.

Thanks for reading and let me know what you think.

 **Question** : How do you think the family found out and what roles do you think the birds and bats played in their operation?


	26. Chapter 26

**General Message** : The Watchtower has been locked down by Batman so he can punish people to work the aggression out of his body. His bat family has quarantined him to a section of the watchtower to try to 'comfort him'. It's working to an extent, all the pain caused thus far has been remote meaning Batman hasn't physically maimed anyone.

 **Wonder Woman** : We'd lecture you heavily about what you did, but the last time anyone saw you was when members of the bat family were locking you in a spacepod filled with only destroyed baby toys and proceeded to launch you into space. They claim it was for your own safety before Batman could get you, but we question the necessity of headless dolls and repetitive children's songs playing.

 **Superman** : Please do not go to 'help' Batman, his family is trying their best to deal with him, but we can practically taste the anger in the air flowing from the room he's currently in.

 **Nightwing** : We're glad you're trying to organize your family into helping Batman get over his current mood, but please try to keep control of them. We've noticed a very high increase in fear and paranoia in league members and we're hesitant to actually tell them they're safe from any Bat or Bird.

 **Red Hood** : We partially blame you for Batman's reaction due to your horrible delivery of the news. Thank you for keeping people away from Batman, but please don't use guns and don't fire at people for fun. League members aren't talking targets.

 **Robin:** Telling Batman that you're the only blood relative he needs isn't particularly comforting, it's slightly rude on the chance that he ever wants to have a child. You also don't need to exact revenge on the rest of the league for 'being idiots and perpetuating Wonder Woman's lies'.

 **Red Robin** : Couldn't you just use an Ipod or something to play music, you didn't need to hack the entire system to play soothing music for Batman. However playing warnings in some of the common areas wasn't unwarranted.

 **Bat Girl:** We aren't sure where you got all the cookies you just brought in, but the outright refusal to share any of them was a bit rude considering how many you have. If you have any left overs you don't need to incinerate them, Flash is practically begging for them.

 **Oracle:** Thank you for remotely conducting the clean up of all baby related items in the watchtower, but despite what Batman told you Aquaman's room is not where we throw trash.

 **Black Bat:** You didn't need to sneak into Wonder Woman's room and destroy it just because your entire family is angry at her. Though we're hesitant to be too upset about it, one because the entire bat family supported the action and two Wonder Woman deserves it to an extent.

 **General Message** : Batman has claimed to have calmed down, he'll still kill someone if he gets too annoyed, but he won't torture you first. Let's be happy for small blessings and give him time. Also Wonder Woman's lack of presence is not an opportunity to get closer to Batman, please be careful around him.

* * *

 **A/N**

Chapter 26 is complete. Don't worry Wonder Woman will eventually find her way home and Batman will not have yet another mental scar about this incident.

Thanks for reading and let me know what you think.

 **Question** : What do you think Batman would have done to Wonder Woman if she wasn't shot into space in a creepy baby pod?

Quick explanation of the batfamily's plan to figure out if Wonder Woman was pregnant: Oracle provided the first distraction to the general league, Batgirl distracted Wonder Woman in particular and fished for information, Black Bat studied Wonder Woman and carefully collected 'samples', Robin checked her room with his dog, Red Robin searched her medical files, Red Hood was disturbingly happy review all the video recordings Batman takes once they had been hacked, and Nightwing coordinated everything. Nightwing was also supposed to break the news to Batman, but that clearly didn't happen. (That was the basic idea I had, it was pretty loose)


	27. Chapter 27

**General Message** : Due to a few 'incidents' all members of the Batfamily aside from Batman himself are being encouraged to leave, especially Redhood and Robin. League members are on edge around our 'guests' and we worry they may begin having panic attacks.

 **Wonder Woman:** You've finally returned, but we've encouraged everyone not to question your absence. The last person to ask about it was punched through a wall and your continual twitching is disturbing. We've also noticed you get very jumpy every time Batman starts humming a lullaby, we can only assume it's the same tune that was on loop in your space pod.

 **Green Arrow:** We don't need a 'cool new justice league symbol' please stop suggesting it, you've already convinced some of the members to begin campaigning for their choice. When a fight breaks out the blame will be partially on you.

 **Batman:** We're slightly surprised you weren't the first one who demanded the justice league had a logo, however we aren't surprised about your choice. Heavily suggesting it be a picture of you doesn't represent the league as a whole, even if you have bats with small pictures of the few league members you don't hate flying around. On another note based on Wonder Woman's recent behaivor we suggest you stop humming, we don't need her causing any undue damages to the watchtower.

 **Superman:** Batman is finally relatively back to normal, please don't set him off by trying to make up for lost time. Just because you weren't able to spend time together as 'friends' doesn't mean you now have to organize a picnic for the two of you. On another note please don't join in the scheme currently happening, we're trying to nip this in the bud.

 **Martian Manhunter:** Just making the symbol a giant picture of Mars isn't really a symbol at all nor does it make sense. Paying homage to your own world is great, but find another way to do it because this isn't going to happen.

 **Zatanna** : We will not have a picture of you pulling league members out of a hat as the symbol, this isn't a magic show.

 **Flash** : You don't need to create a slogan for the new league symbol mainly because it isn't going to be put in affect. Even ignoring that we must inform you that "We'll flash you" or "The League finishes fast" are not good options.

 **Captain Marvel:** We aren't exactly sure who told you about this, but coming up with ideas is not homework in fact we are suggesting you don't do it at all, so there's no need to get stressed or ask anyone for help.

 **Aquaman** \- No fish puns or fish symbols "We were Mer-made to help" is just horrifying.

 **General Message:** Nearly every idea offered was highly egocentric and related to the person offering it up, it's disappointing and the ideas were almost entirely terrible. However, considering all the interest we will introduce the idea of a league symbol sometime in the future and possibly a slogan, but for now please stop arguing about it and no matter what we will avoid all puns. If anymore are posted they will immediately be burned without being read.

* * *

 **A/N**

Hello everyone, I am back after not writing for almost the entire summer. Nobody has to worry about this being cancelled assuming anyone was worried or cared. I'll be getting back to my weekly or bi-weekly schedule. (depending on my other stories or general business)

This chapter was a bit odd for me, it felt weird getting back into the swing of writing this so this wasn't my favorite, but I think it turned out alright. Let me know what you think and if you have anything you want to see in the future.

Question: What would you create for a league slogan if you could pick anything? (Preferably not fish puns)


	28. Chapter 28

**General Message:** We aren't sure who organized a 'Justice League Poetry Contest', but we just recommend everyone keep things civil and try not to go overboard. Not that anyone will bother to listen to us. Apparently there is a prize, we're not sure where it came from, but the winner will recieve the mystery prize. We also don't know who is actually judging.

 **Wonder Woman:** You finally seemed to let go of all the problems you've been having after reciting your poem "Dead Dolls". We can ascertain that you're back to normal because you followed it up with "Bat in my Bed" leaving nearly everyone suitably uncomfortable aside from a smirking Batman.

 **Flash:** You've never been the type to get nervous so it's surprising that you looked worried then sped through your poem so quickly we couldn't even tell what the title was. You then vibrated through the floor before anyone could actually ask any questions. Batman gave you a standing ovation, but we're nearly positive he did that simply to confuse people and give the impression that he was able to somehow understand you.

 **Aquaman** : Your rousing speech about preserving the ocean was actually very well done, but it wasn't really a poem so you are disqualified.

 **Red Tornado:** Your poem "Dancing on the Breeze" was actually well done, much to the surprise of many league members. However as the poem progressed you began letting wind whip around launching league members across the room. After quite a few accidents your poem ended and you quietly flew away leaving the mess without acknowledging it.

 **Hawkwoman:** You honestly just sounded vaguely like an angry teenage girl, we also noticed that you read it from a piece of notebook paper with someone else's name on it. Did you steal someone's poem?

 **Green Arrow:** Your poem included way too many double entendres and outright dirty language, thankfully Black Canary quickly escorted you offstage with a kick and a Canary scream that blew out the sound system.

 **Cyborg:** Thanks for fixing the microphone, but we would be even more thankful if you didn't read your poem "Half a Man." You got too depressed to finish before anyone else started actually paying attention so there was no harm really done.

 **Captain Marvel:** Don't worry you aren't in trouble for not completing a poem, we aren't sure who gave you the impression that it was homework, but participation isn't mandatory as far as we know. You also don't need to worry about not completely understanding Green Arrow's poem.

 **Martian Manhunter:** Nobody else would have been able to read a poem called "Naked Humans" with such a hollow tone, so we commend you for that. When people say write what you know that doesn't mean you stalk league members and write about them.

 **Superman:** Your poem about friendship was a nice break from the horrible things that had been said by most of the league, but it was a bit over the top. "Friendship is caring, I love hugs so stop staring" was a little weird especially since you started spreading your arms wide open, nobody took the invitation.

 **Batman** : "My Parents are Dead and many other Tragedies" was beyond creepy and terribly sad. Many league members were left crying for various reasons though some just seemed to be cringing. We also noticed you immediately stormed out and went back to earth ignoring everyone.

 **General Message** : After Batman's performance the whole contest fell apart due to a general air of discomfort and no winner was actually crowned, it was just as well because Batman stole whatever it was when he walked out.

* * *

 **A/N**

Sorry for this odd chapter out of the blue, but I decided to take a break from my poetry work... to write a chapter about poetry... go figure. I thought I hated it at first, but after adding a bit more and editing it I actually think this chapter turned out alright.

Thanks for reading, let me know what you thought and if there's anything you'd like to see in the future.

Question: Who do you think organized the poetry slam and what do you think the prize was?


	29. Chapter 29

**General Announcement** : We've been having difficulties in finding and transporting supplies to the Watchtower, meaning we're short on certain items. Do you best to survive without them, it shouldn't be a problem. At least it shouldn't be a problem for normal people.

 **Aquaman** : Those treats Batman offered to buy you didn't go through due to an error in the online ordering, beyond that you were actually ordering fish flavored cat treats not treats for fish. You would essentially be giving your aquatic friends fish flavored poison. Be a bit more careful.

 **Batman** : We're sorry your supply of punching bags was delayed, but that certainly doesn't mean you are allowed to force other league members to "volunteer" to be repeatedly hit. Stop trying to smash Aquaman's head in, we need him. What caused this resentment you seem to have against him?

 **Wonder Woman** : The "unmarked products" you've been trying to get your hands on are currently on back order. We've chosen not to inquire about what creepy things you're most likely trying to buy. We've advised everyone to stay out of your way mainly because you're almost as likely to hit people as Batman is.

 **Superman** : Knitting needles are in short supply nowadays and the type of yarn you were looking for is also unavailable. Despite your intentions of making presents, you'll have to wait and it's the thought that counts, right?

 **Flash** : You've been creating a huge mess since your supply of oreos was cut off, we never realized how integral they were for you to function. You've been smashing into things left and right plus your attitude has been almost Batman like.

 **Martian Manhunter** : You seem almost as broken up about the oreos as Flash, league members swore they saw a few silent tears make their way down your face when you received the news.

 **Captain Marvel** : Nobody is quite sure why Batman ordered you a toy car, but we're sorry to say it won't be arriving any time soon despite your complaining.

 **Green Arrow:** Don't you think its arrogant to want to order a figurine of yourself, seriously it's a little sad that you want a toy version of yourself. The exclusive figurine bow is also delayed.

 **Black Canary:** Sorry that your order of 20 pairs of fishnets, will be late. We're almost positive you already have a few dozen pairs of identical fishnet stockings, calm down.

 **Zatanna** : You don't need to get a "magic for beginners" kit with a fake wand to teach others how to do magic even if Captain Marvel is insistent. Once again he is being let down, mainly because there was a massive recall on the product due to fires caused by sparklers.

 **Green Lantern** : We know for a fact that you don't need a nightlight and having a green one doesn't make it sexy. It isn't coming anytime soon so just use your ring to light the room.

 **General Announcement:** We've identified the problems with communications and with the transportation vehicles and we're looking into what specifically caused this, but damaging the Watchtower is almost a pastime for some of you so for the time being we'll assume one of the members did it. Hopefully it was an accident and not just a way to let out frustration.

* * *

 **A/N**

This chapter was partially based on a recommendation I received from Oblivian03 about Flash's need for food and what might happen if he lost it. Thank you for the idea.

I hope everyone enjoyed the chapter and please let me know what you thought. My favorite part was Aquaman trying to feed his fish cat treats.


	30. Chapter 30

**General Message** : We're cancelling the new book club program, it lasted a day before things fell apart. We're just surprised that we were at all surprised by the failure.

 **Batman** : 101 ways to kill a man with school supplies was disturbing and we don't see how it would help anyone here, especially Captain Marvel who you seemed insistent on showing way number 47.

 **Captain Marvel** : Why did you bring school books and suggest everyone work on the questions? Also please leave Batman's book alone, you don't need to learn anything like that, it isn't self defense no matter what Batman says to you.

 **Wonder Woman:** Bringing a book on Greek mythology was actually interesting until you started trying to focus on stories that could easily be considered indecent or downright violent and disturbing (Though Batman seemed to enjoy them). Seriously why not go with the ones that teach some sort of lesson. Everyone here could use some guidance.

 **Green Arrow:** Bringing an an autobiography titled "Green Arrow Rocks" that you wrote on notebook paper isn't considered having an actual book. Half of it was written in crayon, nobody cares that your pencil broke halfway through the epic tale.

 **Superman** : Your book wasn't a problem necessarily, the issue with "Farming: The life corn" was that it was extremely boring. It is now being labelled the easiest way to cure insomnia.

 **Hawkwoman** : Bringing a dictionary with all the 'naughty language' highlighted is simply a waste of time and quite childish. All it did was have league members constantly using large words they didn't actually understand.

 **Black Canary:** Just bringing a book from the classes you teach isn't acceptable, they're children books. "Coloring for Tots" only served to interest Flash.

 **Flash** : If you forget your book don't pretend your book is a ghost, it scared Superman who is not a fan of the paranormal. A book about ghosts would have been fine, but 'invisible' books don't work and honestly it's a poor lie. Don't show up it's that simple and for Superman's sake don't actually bring any ghost stories around the watchtower.

 **Green Lantern:** Your book about the history of the Green Lanterns was actually interesting and informative, but you didn't have to try to sign all the copy's you tried to give to other league members.

 **General Message:** It was clearly a mistake to assume something as simple as a book club could be accomplished without issues. Normally just having poor book choices wouldn't be such an issue, but of course it had to be taken a step further. We can't literally ban books from the Watchtower, but gatherings to read books are going to be monitored and the books must be accepted by the founders... all of whom are insane. The order has been changed no more than three people can gather to read books in any common areas.

 **Martian Manhunter:** This lies entirely on you. An entire battle quickly evolved when you appeared suddenly and began quoting the Martian book "How to start a fight" specifically the passages about fighting among colleagues. Please have a bit more discretion when it comes to matters like this. We's force you to pay for the damages, but we aren't entirely sure you have any money so this will be billed to Batman who seemed to enjoy the fight anyway.

* * *

 **A/N**

So I haven't posted in a bit and I apologize. I've been very busy, but I'm glad I posted this and we've hit 30 chapters which I never imagined. Though I don't know where the idea for a book club came from.

As always thanks for reading and please let me know what you thought and if you have any ideas.

What books would you have expected the league members to have brought?


	31. Chapter 31

**General Message** : Due to a lack of cohesive teamwork we're requiring a team building exercise. This is of course in reference to the fact that in the last disaster the Justice League helped face (An escaped army of radioactive badgers) all injuries sustained by the league members were exclusively inflicted by other team members.

 **Captain Marvel** : Although our first choice for team building wouldn't have been a slumber party there was heavy support from a few members, surprisingly including Batman who merely said, "Children should enjoy childhood." We aren't sure what that was supposed to mean, but a slumber party has officially been organized.

 **Batman:** It was nice of you to bring movies to watch, but we noticed a trend. You only brought horror movies starring Jason is there a particular reason for that?

 **Nightwing:** It's nice to see you, but we're not sure who invited you. Judging by Batman's almost smile and nearly everyone's immediate acceptance at seeing you we aren't going question it. Though if we had to guess it was Captain Marvel judging by the horrible crayon handwriting, he seems to favor, on your homemade invitation.

 **Black Canary:** You shouldn't insist on watching scary movies if you're going to unleash a canary cry every time you get scared, which apparently is quite often even during the credits.

 **Flash** : We're holding you responsible for the explosion in the kitchen. You had already been strictly forbidden from messing around in there, but of course you broke that and it only took you a few minutes to destroy half the kitchen trying to make s'mores.

 **Wonder Woman:** Wearing pajamas is fine, but certainly not required. However wearing a thin robe over your underwear really doesn't count as sleepwear. The sad part is that it's technically less revealing than your normal attire.

 **Superman:** Yes, sleeping bags were on the suggested items list and your Batman themed one is perfectly suitable. However we aren't camping you didn't need to bring an entire tent and you absolutely can't start a bonfire even if Flash is egging you on to make s'mores.

 **Aquaman:** We apologize that the fish tank we ordered for you to sleep in was the wrong size, Batman's insistence on being the one to bring it to the watchtower might have something to do with it. If you'd like, you can sleep in the pool or with your fish friends.

 **Hawkwoman:** As much as we support not causing trouble, you still need to show up. What could you actually have to do that's more important than a slumber party? Actually, there are probably a lot of things that are more important.

 **Doctor Fate:** We apologize that some of the league members are attempting to use you as a nightlight. It's surprising that heroes that regularly face death are worried about what lingers in the dark. If you hear something it's probably just Batman sneaking around.

 **General Message:** This wasn't the worst thing that's ever happened and injuries were kept to a minimum, whether this actually worked as team building is heavily debatable. However, we'll count it as a success so hopefully we don't have to do this again any time soon.

* * *

 **A/N**

So...Here's a chapter after a very long time. I didn't write at all during my break, I was too busy.

Anyway, I've been developing a fascination with writing about Captain Marvel in this story, especially hints of him being a child and being slowly integrated into the Bat family.

As always thank you for reading and please let me know what you think or if you have any ideas/requests.


	32. Chapter 32

**General Message:** Due to the continual failure at maintaining long standing rules to keep control (aside from our brief stint as the kingdom of Bats and its Bat Code), we've decided to adopt a new set of rules: The Justice Accords. To make it fair we will allow each member of the league to offer a suggestion for a rule. Please send us your suggestions.

 **Superman:** We should all sing a Justice League Anthem every dawn. The anthem will be composed by myself and Batman, "Justice Rules."

 **Captain Marvel:** Our long meetings need recess because I get bored plus some snacks.

 **Flash** : Running in hallways is required anyone who doesn't comply has to skate around the watchtower on rocket powered roller blades dyed red and yellow. Also I agree with Captain Marvel, our meetings are long and boring.

 **Wonder Woman:** Clothing is optional for attractive league members. All decisions on who is considered attractive will be done by a council I appoint headed by me. Actually, I changed my mind clothing is banned for attractive league members when they're on the Watchtower.

 **Green Lantern** : Everyone needs to wear rings and when we go into battle, they have to hold them over their head and give a battle cry. Each member can create their own unique battle cry, but make it loud and proud.

 **Hawk Woman** : Roosts must be built so flying members can hang over everyone else, no non-flying members allowed. I have some sticks, grass, and mud if anyone wants to get a head start.

 **Aquaman:** We should have rivers running down every hallway so we can swim wherever we want rather than walk like fools or fly.

 **Green Arrow:** The Justice League has to form a professional archery league, all members must participate it's not optional. I call team captain and we're all wearing green uniforms. We can discuss the name later, but I suggest "Arrow Heads"

 **Cyborg:** We need to install more outlets around the Watchtower so I have more places to charge my built in speakers, they've been acting up since the last rave I went to.

 **Zatanna** : Throwing confetti around is expected every time any action is completed such as: cooking, winning a game, finishing a meeting, eating, walking through doorways, waking up, and anything else someone can come up with.

 **Nightwing:** I'm not technically part of the league, but I suggest free access for all bat family members. Realistically though if we really feel like it we could just break in, this is more for your sake.

 **Catwoman** : I want free access so I can visit Batman, somebody make that happen, I probably won't steal anything.

 **Batman** : I can ignore all rules as I please and make new ones up whenever I choose. I also vote that we have a 'recess' because I need a break from listening to discussions that don't matter because my ideas and decisions are obviously always correct.

 **General Message:** We've decided to ignore all the suggestions made by the various league members and non-league members who somehow got access, mainly because they add nothing useful and we're definitely not inviting super villains to visit freely. We'll be putting our new rules into effect immediately, although we honestly wonder how much power we actually have over what you do. Plus considering you run your own meetings you don't actually have to ask us for a recess you can just do as you please. All we ask is that everyone stay under control.

* * *

 **A/N**

 **Alright another chapter down I hope it turned out all right even if it is a bit short.**

 **Thanks for reading and let me know what you think or if you have any suggestions.**


	33. Chapter 33

**General Message:** Due to another wave of infighting we have decided to begin holding mandatory group therapy. We would like everyone to admit to something they considered doing that would hurt the league and instead look for a better way to handle your issues.

 **Martian Manhunter** : Instead of capturing and dissecting one of the league members to learn more about them, why don't you try talking to them. It will prevent anyone from dying plus it encourages team building. However knowing that you'd willingly dissect them has made some league members hesitant to spend time with you.

 **Captain Marvel:** Using your powers to break into toy stores to get toys for free is very illegal, so try asking Batman to buy you something. He is surprisingly willing to do what you want.

 **Flash** : You've already raided the kitchen multiple times so that isn't anything new, but honestly if the worst thing you do is take food that belongs to the league then you probably aren't a major danger to anyone. However, it would probably be best just to wait until the cooks have prepared something rather than just eating random raw ingredients.

 **Superman** : Sneaking into Gotham to play Batman is a terrible idea, even if you were able to convince Nightwing to pretend to be your Robin. Batman would most likely find out and then everyone would pay for it. Ask Batman if he'll make you a gadget to use instead, hopefully it'll help in the future and don't drag any members of the Bat family into your games.

 **Batman:** The litany of horrible things you've planned out is beyond disturbing. If we believed there was anyone qualified to counsel you or psychologically evaluate you we'd recommend them in a heartbeat. We don't know what to say about your possible plans to unleash a plague on Russia because a random man bumped into and his apology didn't seem sincere enough because of his accent.

 **NightWing:** We aren't sure why you're here, but you're involved in the league often enough for you to matter as well in helping better ourselves. Your plan with Batman to indoctrinate young heroes into the Batfamily and create some type of Bat League on the side seems dangerous with the way you describe it.

 **Aquaman** : Trying to flood the entire watchtower would be difficult simply because there is only enough water on the watchtower for drinking and for housing your fish. You'd need to transport water to the Watchtower to flood it completely. Just enjoy your pools as they are.

 **Black Canary:** Doing a Canary Cry into the Watchtower's PA system, "just to see what happens" would likely blow out the eardrums of most of the league members, especially those with superhuman hearing. The Watchtower's windows are meant to be nearly indestructible, but we wouldn't like to put those to the test either, so just go sing a few songs and get it out of your system.

 **Cyborg:** You can't add cybernetic implants to league members without their consent, even if you call it, "a bit of updating" it's still wrong. Build some toys for Captain Marvel or help Batman with his projects, just don't make league members into personal projects.

 **Wonder Woman:** No matter what the reason you can't just tie people up for your amusement especially if it's to humiliate them by revealing their dark secrets or in one specific case to ravish them. Join a rodeo, hopefully you can impress the league members.

 **Atom** : Don't use your powers to stalk people, the last time you used your powers for things that will not be mentioned you were stepped on, twice. That's not even counting the beating you got after from Wonder Woman.

 **General Message:** The saddest part about this session is that we only asked you to reveal one thing so we don't know how many other horrible ideas are swirling around in your twisted minds. How do people still look up to any of you?

* * *

 **A/N**

So I'm back and I already know what I want to do for the next chapter so there won't be some giant random hiatus (not that I'd ever do that...)

I was busy and uninspired, but I'm going to try getting back into writing fan fiction again.

Let me know if you enjoyed this or if there's anything you want to see in the future.


	34. Chapter 34

**General Message:** We want to understand what being a hero means to you, specifically why you help people despite the fact that most of you are twisted and clearly suffering from some personality disorders or something equally as effective at making your behavior generally unacceptable and often downright dangerous.

 **Flash:** Feeling cool and getting people to notice you isn't really a compelling reason to aid them, it's not a popularity contest. Although you'd probably do quite well, so don't concern yourself with it.

 **Wonder Woman:** Using the missions as an outlet for your rage means you need therapy not enemies and trying to do the most damage isn't impressing anyone least of all Batman who usually ends up paying for repairs.

 **Zatanna** : We don't recommend using your exploits as a hero as a way to drive up interest in your shows. You do quite well on your own and publicity stunts are a bit tacky when people's lives are in danger.

 **Superman:** We actually thought you of all the heroes would have noble intentions, but saving the world because you need something to write about at your job seems pretty dumb. Your secondary reasoning that it would make you seem cooler sounds far too much like Flash to be comfortable.

 **Batman:** Working as a hero because it's the only socially acceptable way to use dangerous weaponry and force others into serving in your bat army is as disturbing as any villain. If not for your hatred of crime we honestly could easily see you working successfully as a criminal, try not to take that as a compliment.

 **Captain Marvel:** Wanting to be a superhero because it seemed fun and you get to hang out with other superheroes seems like weak reasoning, but you're still here so you must be having a good time.

 **Martian Manhunter:** Being a hero because you have nothing else to do just means you need a hobby, that's not to dissuade you from helping others, but try puzzles or something.

 **Cyborg:** If you want free wifi you could probably just go to a cafe, though we will concede the watchtower does a nice workshop and access to supplies you wouldn't normally be able to obtain for building speakers that plug into your circuitry.

 **Aquaman:** Wanting to be a hero just because you need an excuse to go on land and don't expect anyone to accept you otherwise seems vaguely sad. Though considering you're a bit bullied by some of our "darker" heroes it's not inconceivable that your self worth isn't too high. Try visiting Black Canary to talk about your feelings.

 **Dr. Fate:** Working for the greater good and providing justice because your helmet bugs you if you don't sounds more like your resigned to your fate because you don't want to be nagged by Nabu.

 **Catwoman:** For the most part you're a villain and wanting shiny things doesn't excuse that. Putting that aside, how do you even keep getting in here? Breaking into buildings is one thing, but clearly someone is helping you and from the smirks Batman keeps sending we can guess who it is.

 **General Message:** The fact that most of you have completely selfish reasons for helping others isn't surprising, but we have a suspicion that you aren't telling us the whole story and that their are glimmers of valor and tragic backstories hidden away. Ignoring the reasons, at least you're committed to saving others and as long as the public believe in the League and your status as protectors everything should be fine for now.

* * *

 **A/N**

Look at me, two chapters within roughly a week of each other, it's almost like I'm back on track.

Let me know what you thought and what you want to see, now that I'm geared up to start writing this again I'm ready to start writing out your suggestions.


End file.
